Jily: Severus’ POV for anon
She used to hate him. Lily used to spend hours talking about how he was stuck up and rude and insufferable and how she couldn’t stand him.
Something changed after the tiny slip that she never forgave him for. Severus wondered if he was the only one to notice that the anger in her eyes turned friendlier somewhere during sixth year, and by seventh year it was more than friendship.
Severus swallowed down his bile when he saw they’d started sitting at what used to be his and Lily’s table, Potter sitting in his chair, reaching out and touching Lily’s hand or hair and she let him, like she’d never hated him at all.
He was the first one to catch them late at night during his patrol, giggling so loud it was no wonder they got caught. He didn’t bother taking points, because they were the Head Students (how did Potter get it, he’s hardly the ideal candidate) and there was no point.
When Severus finds out – from the whisperings of some fourth years in the Common Room – that Lily and Potter are dating, he left his friends without a word and didn’t return for several hours. When he did he was a little drunk and soaked to the bone and when he saw Potter and Black he snapped.
The next time he saw Lily and Potter was when he woke up in the Hospital Wing, head pounding, and saw her curled against the curly-haired boy, head resting on his chest. And Severus promised himself he wouldn’t care anymore. But it didn’t go away, not even years later at the announcement of their engagement.
harry: my dad was cool right guys?
sirius and remus: ((look at each other nervously))
remus: harry ((takes harry by the shoulders)) i have something very important to tell you. dont take this the wrong way but your father was the biggest dork i’ve ever met in my entire life
He wasn’t supposed to be here tonight.
At least, he hadn’t told her he was coming.
She hadn’t seen him come in, either, but none of that prevented her from instinctively knowing precisely who had just come up behind her, was standing so close she could feel his breath on her shoulder, had just placed a hand on the small of her back.
Since when did that happen?
“You look good.”
Lily heard the smile in his voice and matched it with one of her own. “Only good? I was rather hoping for better than that.”
Did they normally flirt this much, or was the champagne heightening her awareness? Worse still, was the champagne responsible for her loose tongue? She was too damned distracted by his warmth and his smell and the electricity crackling where, fucking hell, his fingers were tracing lazy circles on her back.
“What are you doing here? You never come to these things.”
Here tone wasn’t at all accusatory, James obliged her curiosity by leaning in, further than what was strictly necessary-not that she was complaining-and whispering conspiratorially, “If you must know, I heard a rumour that a pretty girl was going to be here.”
“The gossips were wrong, of course, as per usual.”
She scoffed, just as he knew she would, just as he hoped she would. He laughed, conceding, “Alright, then, more than good. I’ll admit to three, perhaps four solid minutes of staring before I came up to you.”
James, facing her profile, noted her flaming cheek and mouth turned up at the corner, but she didn’t turn to face him and she didn’t say anything. He hoped he hadn’t crossed a line. They flirted, yes, but never this outrageously. It was true, though-she was beautiful, gorgeous, really. He didn’t want to take it back.
He didn’t have to, turns out, because Lily surprised him with a confession of her own, perhaps as a reward for his own honesty. “You look good, too, you know.”
It was his turn to scoff, “Evans, you haven’t even turned to see me yet.”
“Didn’t have to, James. I’ve seen you in dress robes before.”
“That was last year, though. I didn’t realize you were paying attention then.”
“Well, I was.”
“Fair enough.” He’d made his mind up about something, Lily could tell. Barely a moment passed and James reached across her with his free hand to relieve her of her goblet. As he set it on the table beside him, it was more statement then question that he spoke into her hair, “So, are you ready to dance?”
“With you? Absolutely.”
They held each more closely than the moment called for; paid no mind to the stares, both blatant and overt, the tempo of the song they’d begun swaying to, or anything, really, but the immediacy of this long, long overdue moment. It was all tingling hands and stuttering heartbeats and warm breaths. Damn it to hell, was this what they had been missing?
James, who was going to burst if he didn’t do something to relieve the tension, but not quite trusting himself to speak, started to spin Lily in wide circles. She understood his intentions and played along. Soon they were performing a ridiculous, exaggerated waltz on the outskirts of the dance floor. They were poking fun at the other dancers as much as at themselves, which was all for the better; taking each other too seriously was more than either of them could handle.
When James spun her out and back again she exclaimed, albeit laughingly, “You’re a madman!” When he dipped her, the room spun more than she liked-and for more than one reason. “No more dips, please, too much champagne, alright?”
“You, Evans? Drinking too much at a school function?”
She nodded solemnly, bringing their entwined hands upwards as she poked his chest. “Yes! Don’t pretend to be outraged, love, I’m of age. Anyway, it’s all your horrible influence.”
“You’re sure it’s me who’s corrupted you, not the other way around?”
His wore a well-practiced expression of utmost innocence, one she’d seen many times as he was trying to weasel out of various punishments. She knew what he was doing, and damn if it wasn’t working because her lip twitched, breaking into a grin despite her best efforts. “Alright. Your influence isn’t that terrible.”
“Thank you. I finally get the credit I deserve. You are rather crazy about me, you know.”
He’d said things like this before, teasingly, about her fancying him, and she could brush it away with a laugh and an eyeroll. She had done just that on numerous occasions, but this was different.
They’d been coming towards this question-skirting around it, really-for months. And they both recognized this moment for what it was: cards on the table.
He’d done the brave thing by asking the question, it was the thing she hadn’t summoned the courage to do. Now, wrapped in his arms, she felt no fear.
She cocked her head slightly, and with a smirk on her face, the one she’d learned from him, said. “Finally figured that out, did you? Yes, I do. Not too bright for top of our year.”
“I’m brilliant, just a bit of an idiot sometimes. I did figure it out though, only took me three months.”
She buried her head into his shoulder, shaking her head as she muffled into his robes, “Four. Four months.”
“Yeah, that I was aware of, though it was probably longer than that. I’ve been an idiot, too.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She tilted her head back to look him in the eye again. “A million stupid reasons, all of them complete rubbish, I assure you.”
His gaze didn’t waver, he was expecting her to continue, so she pressed on, “We were mates. It wasn’t my place. I thought you didn’t fancy me anymore. I didn’t want to be a prat and ruin everyth-“
“I wouldn’t have minded, you know.”
“But I didn’t know that, love, and I can’t undo it. Besides, we’re here now.”
“Yes. We are.” He didn’t bother editing the grin that split his face. “And now we know the truth.”
“Yes, of course. The truth, Evans, is that you find me devastatingly gorgeous…”
“…alright, yes. You have a special talent for making me laugh.”
James was satisfied with this until she added, as if she couldn’t help herself-and really, she couldn’t-“Even if your jokes are dead awful sometimes.”
He pouted, “You always preface your compliments with a cutting adjective. Why? Must you wound me?”
She put a placating hand on his check, “Now James, if I start throwing compliments at you, you might die of shock. Your head would explode. You would be-”
“Flying without a broomstick? You’re in my arms, love, I already am.”
“You did not just say that. Ponce.”
“I did just say that, and it’s true, but I take it back. It was awful.”
“Thank you for proving my point for me, by the way.”
“I aim to please, love. But you aren’t going to be good for my ego at all.”
“When have I ever? If it helps, I’m crazy about you, all the same.”
“Immensely. Crazy about you, too, you know.”
”I do now.”
At this, they abandoned any pretence of dancing; what little space there had been between them vanished completely as her arms went around her neck and both hands settled her into a tight hug.
It was Lily who broke the silence and asked the question they’d both been contemplating. “Do you want to get out of here?”
“Can we leave already? We’ve only had one dance.”
“Well, love, I can’t be sure, but I think it’s been seven or eight songs. I’ve no intention of dancing with anyone else. I think our spectators would be relieved if we left, actually. Mostly, James, I refuse to let our first proper snog be at one of Slughorn’s stuffy parties.”
“Snogging in a corridor is better?”
i am sorry for the fluff. so. much. fluff.
there is nothing revolutionary here, i’ll admit that, just cliched jily flirting, but i will post a gratuitous snogging sequel to make up for it, though, promise.
Lily is half asleep, crawling over James as she gropes for her wand on the nightstand. She’s about to question the funny look on his face when she realizes that the grain and weight of the wand in her hand is all wrong. Her cheeks burn with the realization that it’s not her wand, but his, she’s holding. She releases it instinctively, dropping it to the bed, an apology half formed on her lips.
James scoops up the wand-his wand-and turns it in his fingers. He surprises her by pressing it into her hand, wrapping his fingers around hers, closing them around the wood. His movements are slow, deliberate, his eyes never waver. This feels every bit as intimate as his kisses, his touches, the weight of him on top of and inside her. He presses a kiss to her temple, whispers into her hair that it’s alright, he’s just never seen anyone use his wand before, and while it caught him off guard, she can use it any time.
James Potter’s wand feels strong, steady, warm in her hand. Lily wonders if any wand would feel that way or if it’s that he so willingly gave her his consent. She casts her first spell, something small-an accio for her own wand, which seems to have gone missing. She gasps in surprise at how foreign her own magic feels channeled through this strange piece of wood; different, but not wrong.
James catches Lily’s wand, which was buried in the heap of clothes by the door, and upon receiving an encouraging nod from his girlfriend, flexes his fingers around the handle. It’s smaller, yes, and it feels a bit wild, but so very, very Lily. He contemplates which spell to try only for a moment before he notices goosebumps on her exposed shoulder. Understanding her original intentions, he casts a warming charm over the quilt that covers them. Much appreciated, apparently, as he is rewarded with an enthusiastic kiss.
Some time later they are side by side, snuggled together under the quilt, backs against the headboard. They stay up until dawn experimenting: casting spells with increasingly complexity, comparing the differences and similarities, learning the nuances of each other’s wands.
In the months and years to come this will become second nature, each other’s wands as familiar as their own. Now, however, it’s hard for them to imagine, for that desire-a life together-is only beginning to take shape in their hearts. But it is starting, and it grows on nights like this, with whispers and kisses and confidences and firsts. It feels a lot like love.
“You might not believe this, McKinnon – But my whole life does not revolve around Lily Evans.” He said with a frustrated sigh. Marlene McKinnon had spent the last 25 minutes pestering him about why he had ‘given up’ on Lily. Training had finished half an hour ago, and the rest of the team left soon after. James had been packing the equipment up, when the blonde appeared beside him.
She thought for a moment, twirling a strand of her hair around a finger as she said, “Nope, you’re right. I don’t believe it.” She said with a satisfied smirk.
He rolled his eyes, placing his unlit cigarette between his lips as reached down to tie up his laces. Marlene watched him with a curved eyebrow, chewing her gum loudly. She was beginning to get on his nerves. He could feel her eyes burning into him, and he dropped his foot to the ground loudly, tucking his cigarette behind his ear as he turned to face her,
“Can I help you with something else, McKinnon?”
She shook her head, “Just trying to see what Lily sees in you.”
“Well can you do it somewhere els- Wait, what?”
“Don’t see it, myself. You’re fit I guess, but bloody hell you’re a dozy muppet sometimes.”
“Shut up for a second and go back to what you said before.”
“Which is it?” she asked, the trademark Marlene McKinnon smirk firmly planted on her lips, “Do you want me to shut up or do you want me to tell you about Lily?”
“I thought your whole life doesn’t revolve around her?”
“McKinnon, I swear to Merlin’s sweaty underpants, if you don’t tell me what you know I’m going to bench you for the Slytherin game.”
She opened her mouth to retort, but she knew he wasn’t kidding. James Potter didn’t kid when it came to Lily Evans. Besides; the look on his face was almost too pathetic to mess with him. She scowled, pulling at the ribbon that was holding her hair into her ponytail. “You’re a daft git, you know that, right?” She asked as her hair cascaded over her shoulder.
“Explain.” He demanded,
“She – Lily Evans – fancies you – James Potter. Savvy?” She explained slowly, in the most patronising voice she could muster. She smirked as his eyes widened on their own accord, as his hands dropped limply by his side, and his eyes became unfocused. She pulled jacket on, and picked up her bag and hung it over her shoulder,
“Nope. Bullshit.” He muttered, as he shook his head. His hand running through his hair as he frowned, Marlene rolled her eyes. “Don’t bullshit me, McKinnon.” He said a moment later, eyeing her suspiciously as he brought his cigarette to his lips again, lighting it this time.
“Like I said, I don’t see it. She’s clearly a nutter.” She began to smirk again, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she headed up toward the castle. As she moved away from him, she turned her head over her shoulder and called back to him, “By the way, Lily hates cigarettes. But I guess that doesn’t bother you, because your life doesn’t revolve around Lily Evans, right?”
“Right.” He said weakly, as he watched the blonde stride triumphantly away from him.
When she was out of sight, he looked down at the lit fag between his fingertips. It dropped to the ground and the sole of James’ boot ground it into the dirt. It was the last cigarette James ever lit.
- Relationships: James Potter
Despite popular belief, Lily Evans never hated James Potter. It is true she isn’t very fond of most of his ways and she is positive they both see the world in a completely different way, but she never hated him. In fact her opinion changed throughout the years. When…
Lily rounded the corner quickly, wiping tears hurriedly from her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, and she really didn’t want anyone to know that being called a mudblood had upset her, especially as it was Snape who had said it. She kept trying to tell herself that she didn’t care, that whatever Snape called her now didn’t matter, because Snape was no longer her best friend. Indeed, Snape was no longer even a friend. He had betrayed her, and while he had constantly sought her out to apologise, no sort of person calls their best friend a mudblood, and expects to be forgiven.
Before that day by the lake, Lily had already began to seethe changes in Snape, or maybe they had always been there. Nevertheless, she didn’t like them. She didn’t like the people he had started to converse with, or what they did, and she certainly didn’t like Sev’s growing interest in the dark arts. But despite all that, he had been her friend, so she had always had a flicker of hope that it was just a phase, that he was still the boy who she had met at the playground with Petunia.
She felt another damned tear slide down her cheek, and brushed it away angrily. No matter how much she had believed in Severus, he wasn’t her friend now, so there was no point in crying over him. He had chosen his path, and now she had chosen hers.
As she sped up to reach her dormitory, so that she could just sleep for a long, long while, someone sped around the corner so fast that she was unable to get out of the way. She yelped as the other student, she couldn’t see who because it was already growing dark in the corridors, knocked her flat in a tangle of limbs and robes.
“Merlin, I’m so sorry, I’m such a klutz-” he cried, and Lily’s eyes widened when she realised who was pinning her to the ground. Potter. Her stomach squirmed, in what she guessed was disgust. She was incredibly glad of the growing darkness, which would make her vibrant red hair not seem as obvious. Potter’s glasses had fallen off his nose, she couldn’t spot where they had gone, so he thankfully hadn’t guessed who he was practically lying on top of. “I really am sorry!” he finished.
“Get off,” Lily mumbled, trying very hard not to sound like herself.
“Oh yeah, sorry, sure thing,” Potter said. He lifted himself to his feet, in the graceful way that Lily didn’t think tall people should be able to, and extended a hand for her, which she took hesitantly.
“Bloody hell,” he muttered, blinking owlishly as he tried to make out the person he had ran into. “I can’t believe I dropped my glasses!”
Lily couldn’t help but snicker. He really did look like a child, with a huge pout fastened onto his face like a mask, and his eyes widened in the useless hope of being able too see better. Lily knew very well that he was as good as blind without his glasses, and found great enjoyment in the idea of watching Potter suffer for a few minutes. He dropped to his knees to look for his glasses, searching with his hands.
Lily suddenly spotted his rectangular glasses sitting a couple of feet away. She smirked, her previous thoughts of Snape forgotten, as she tiptoed quietly over to the glasses, and picked them up. They weren’t broken, as far as she could tell. Pity. It would do Potter some good to be blind for a while.
Potter was still crawling around, mumbling swear words as he did so, before he looked up towards where he thought Lily was. Of course, he didn’t know who it was, but he assumed it wasn’t a Slytherin, as he hadn’t yet been on the receiving end of a curse.
“I don’t suppose you could find my glasses, could you?” he said pleadingly, staring towards the corridor wall. “I’m blind as a bat without them,”
Lily felt a little bit of sympathy crawl over her as she watched Potter lift a hand to ruffle his hair, which was already messy enough from his fall. Not enough sympathy to have a pity party or whatever, but she supposed it was enough to give him back his glasses. She trotted towards him, glad to have the power over him, and pulled him up by the arm. She forced herself not to look into his eyes, as she slid his glasses onto his face, therefore allowing him vision.
“Thank you,” he smiled. When he saw Lily, his eyes widened even more if possible.
“Lily,” he said.
“Have you been crying?” he asked, glimpsing her puffy red eyes, and tear stained cheeks. A guilty expression grew on his face, he undoubtedly knew that she had been crying because of the lake incident.
“Even if I was, why would I tell you,” she replied stiffly. She averted her gaze from him, but didn’t walk away. She wanted him to know. She wanted him to know that this was his fault. He seemed to be taking it the wrong way, however. She wanted him to know that she was angry about Severus, and that it was his fault. He seemed to think that she was crying over him, which was absurd, because Lily Evans did not cry over James Potter.
He moved forwards as if to comfort her, raising his arms to wrap around her. Lily pulled away angrily, and smacked his arm away.
“Don’t touch me!” Lily cried, her voice cracking as another wild sob racked her body. She hated feeling weak in front of him, but she was confused as to why he wasn’t wearing the trademark Potter smirk, or even a look of amusement. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern, Lily could see the struggle he was facing to not attempt to throw his arms around her again.
“Lily, I just want to help,” he said, awkwardly, rubbing his arms to keep warm. “Surely you can see that all I do for you is serious.”
Lily scoffed. Potter had asked her out every time he saw her for years. But Lily couldn’t help but realise that he hadn’t asked her once since before the day of the lake. She didn’t like to think that Potter had been serious every time he had asked her out, but with him studying her with such a sombre expression made her want to re evaluate.
Potter huffed in irritation. “You do know that it’s not a joke, don’t you?” he said.
“Don’t be stupid, of course it’s a joke,” she answered.
Potter made a cry of what sounded of exasperation, and stepped closer to Lily. His eyes bore into hers, his hazel and gold staring intently into her vibrant green. She began to feel very uncomfortable, there was only a few inches between their faces, which must have been the closest she had ever seen him.
Up close, Lily could see many more details of his face, ones which she had never really cared to notice before. There was a small scar on his upper lip, which gave him a slightly rugged look. His eyes, which she had previously thought to be plain hazel, she noticed were flecked with green and gold. A light spattering of freckles covered his cheeks and nose, which looked as if it had been broken on at least one occasion.
Seeing all this made Lily realise that Potter was not really the perfect male specimen, as the population of Hogwarts seemed to believe. Seeing him up close somehow made him seem more, human.
“Do you really believe that, Lily?” he whispered huskily, his breath fluttering onto Lily’s cheeks.
“Everything is a joke with you, Potter. Where is the rest of your gang? Waiting to attack me with cream pies around the next corner?”
Potter drew, if possible, even closer, until his body was pressed against hers. Taking a risk, he reached up and tucked a piece of Lily’s hair behind her ear, which made Lily blush quite profusely. She was far too surprised to push him away, so she did nothing, and James felt his heart leap at this, because she had not rejected him. Lily Evans had not rejected him.
He leaned forwards until his mouth was close to her ear, then whispered in a voice which made Lily’s legs shake.
“One day, Lily, you’ll see how I really feel.”
Then he disappeared as quick as he had come, and left a very flustered Lily in his wake.